Please Don’t Ever Say This to a Type 1 (Prob Type 2’s too)

I have compiled a list of things that you should never say to me unless you want to get beat.

Now… this post is in good fun so to any family and friends out there who have said any of this to me…deal with it, yo. I’m 50% kidding, 50% serious. In other words I’m old enough that I don’t really care one way or the other if you say these shenanigans to me.

I don’t want anyone to stop asking me questions on my diseaseys  in the heazies (that’s what I’m nicknaming it tonight) I like informing people of the different types and what I do to keep on truckin’ so keep on askin.” I’m in the mood that I’m part country/ part gansta tonight.

Anyway here are a few for you.

1. “You need to eat something.”

This is a big one in my family and most of the time I’m told this when I’m completely normal…and by normal I mean my normal strange self. Proceeding this statement is people bringing me food after I already said I didn’t want anything… I’ve survived with this for 25 years…I’m well aware of when I need to eat something. I appreciate the caring, but please stop harassing me.

In my younger days they used to constantly give me rice krispy treats and muffins…. I swear, to this day, I can’t look at a rice krispy treat without getting upset and quite frankly, scared someone is going to try to make me eat it. I’ll probably have nightmares tonight. Thanks a lot, blog!

 2. “Have your kidneys/ eyes/ feet or whatever complication a type 1 can give you down the road failed you yet?”

Ummmm…seriously? It’s the “yet” that gets me riled. You don’t knowwwww me. You don’t knowwwww where I live. Just cause you know an old man that had problems doesn’t mean I will.

3.    “Should you be eating that?”

This one doesn’t bother me as much as it does other type 1’s. I’ve said it in previous posts. We can eat whatever you can eat…we just have to give enough insulin to cover it. Research and medicine treatments have come a long way since 20 years ago.  Join the 21st century why don’t ya?

4. “Why are you acting weird? Are you low?”

It’s my face. Shush it.

5. “Is that a pager?”

Yes. Yes it is a pager. I’m very important…. living in the 90’s and all that jazz.

That’s all you people get. Now stop harassing me for more blog posts!! Haha…100% kidding on that one!! Thanks for the support and requests.

And please don’t ever say these things to Type 1’s…foreva eva and eva evaaa? Yes.


You suck, Diabetes.

Some days ya just want to say “Suck it, diabetes.” And maybe you want to wrastle with your already dead, blackened, decrepit pancreas and punch it in the face.

Today was one of those days for me. For the following reasons:

1. I didn’t feel good and I was in a bad mood with a lot on my mind that I needed to figure out. When these things occur I am not exactly hungry and I find it annoying to have to take a break from feeling sorry for myself and try to find something to eat before I pass out. Diabetes is a rude brat. (And if any of you reading this are thinking I’m the brat I will punch you in the face.)

2. I opened my new pack of juice boxes I keep on hand for low blood sugars and realized I bought the kind that has “less sugar and naturally sweetened” blah blah blah. That’s all fine and dandy for moms wanting to feed their kids something healthier, but it kind of defeats the purpose for me. Not only does it not taste as good as the normal kind I now have to drink two of the darn things to equal one of the more sugary kind to get my blood sugar raised appropriately. Diabetes is a rude brat. (Don’t you dare think that about me, readers! Remember my earlier threats?)

3. Washed my sheets today and I hop in bed to get all snug as a bug in  my fresh clean blankets, roll to the side, and yep… feel the sting on my pump insertion site telling me I ripped part of it out. Now I gotta get out of my nice, clean bed and change out my site. Bleh. Diabetes is a rude brat. (Yeah, maybe I am a brat too. Deal with it, yo!)

On another note…. I was in Walgreens buying a lovely birthday card for a lady I work with and at the check out you can once again donate to JDRF. I hope you all think of me and my bad day next time you are checking out at Walgreens and open your wallets  a little more, maybe toss a buck or two JDRF’s way in honor of me and my fellow type 1 comrades.

If you made it to the end I thank you for listening to my rantings. You’re swell people.

Crossfit and Type 1 Diabetes


Ah..crossfit…one day you are riding on top of the world and the next you are laying flat on the ground barely able to move while ghost babies beat on your muscles with hammers.

I started crossfit 10 weeks ago and it has definately been a love/hate relationship. If you don’t know what crossfit is, I suggest you look it up as I could probably go on and on about the tortuous things we do…haha.. I kidd, I kidd…It is a pretty difficult and  painful thing at times, but it is also very addicting and rewarding.

I am currently in experimental phases on how to deal with being type 1 diabetic while participating in such an intense workout. And for those of you who have not done it before, when I say intense, I mean INTENSE… My first couple weeks doing it I was in a constant state of extreme muscle soreness, here are a few difficulties I had:

1. I was unable to pick up the phone at my job without grimicing in pain at the soreness of my triceps.

2. At one point, and this is 100% fact, I had a staring contest with a stapler while I tried to figure out if I would be able to lift it, let alone actually staple my papers… I think I might have had to ask someone to help me… buutt.. in my defense it was a heavy duty stapler. Weighed at least a pound! haha

3. A couple of nights I had trouble sleeping. Every way I positioned myself was painful. I ended up laying on my back with my hands at my side as if I was a vampire sleeping in a coffin.

4. I can’t tell you how many times the lady I work with (Yeah, I said it, T!) laughed at me when I couldn’t get up or sit  back down in my chair. I can still hear her laughter sometimes in my nightmares. So mean.

At this moment, some of you may be wondering “Why the heck does she do crossfit if it’s that bad?” To that I would say this:

1. It’s addicting. I don’t know why but somewhere along the line they hooked me. Maybe they are giving us drugs through the air vents. IDK. Just trust me when I say it is addicting.

2. The standard rewards for doing any type of exercising. Weight loss, more engery, more strength to lift staplers at work, etc.

3. Crossfit is hard and as they say “If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.” I’ve taken that concept to things in my life outside of crossfit. For example, I’ve gone to the diabetes doctor 2-4 times a year…since I was 6 and everytime they stick needles in my arm and take my blood. I hate it. I’ve always had to lay down while they take it because the one time they said I was old enough to start sitting up for the process (I think I was in Junior High) I passed out. I watched them look for my veins, stick the needle in me and then as I watched the tubes fill with blood…bam! Lights out. Since then I have told the nurses I am laying down so I don’t pass out and I usully get looked at like a major weirdo and a “You’re too old to be such a baby about this” …this is turning into a long story…. Anyhoo, I just went to the doctor last week and as I was sitting there I thought to myself  “If I can survive crossfit 4 times a week surely I can sit up while they take my blood.” And you know what? I could. It sounds stupid but I was quite the proud gordon. I did have my neck turned to the side as far as possible so I wouldn’t see any of the process to the point I had trouble straightening my head to face frontwards again.

This post didn’t really have much to do with my type 1ness, but I am a living (obviously I’m living and not a ghost writing this. Or am i? Bruce Willis was dead the whole time…think about it) back to the point… I am living proof that an average type 1 who is not super fit can do it. If I can do it, you can do it! Probably should talk to your doctors before starting though. It does wreak havoc on the blood sugars. I’m still experimenting with my pump process.

Also, if any of you are my friends outside of this blog please feel free to join the crossfit gym I go to…just make sure you said Emily referred you ;)….and, yeah, I’ve probably already tried to talk you into it, but just do it. 10 weeks isn’t that hard of a commitment and from there you can see if you want to officially join. I won’t tell you it is easy, but I will tell you it is worth it.


Not For the Faint of Heart

I went to the doctor recently and was scolded for my a1c (average of my overall blood sugar levels over a 3 month period) being too high… I blame crossfit but more on that later. I was told I need to keep my CGM (continuous glucose monitor) on for two weeks and then go back to see if it has gone down… Unfortunately I have been having major issues with the CGM and I feel like showing you all a gross display of bloody pictures. If you are faint of heart I suggest you leave this page immediately… If it wasn’t my own blood I’d probably pass out in heap…




I don’t even know why there was such a bad bruise… I was actually pretty shocked to discover it after I removed the CGM and saw it. Yuck. That stinkin’ sensor cost $40 and only lasts for 3-7 days so it really really sucks when they don’t work the first day you put it in.

Anndd… The sensor I had in prior was fine until I went to crossfit the day of insertion and sweated my face off, because when I got home and went to shower the sensor was completely out… The sweat made it not stick to me anymore, I suppose. That’s $80 worth of sensors in a 2 day period. Son. Of. A. Monkey’s. Uncle!! Does any type 1’s with a CGM have any good taping suggestions I could use to prevent this from happening in the future? Cause, seriously, $40 is a lot of money to be tossing down the drain for this poor gal…

Terms of Endearment, Part 3

Did you think I was done writing about terms I use as a Type 1 diabetic? Nope. I have more. Many many more. How many of those I choose to share with you I don’t know yet.

“Death” – This is what I call sugar free hard candy. In a previous post I have referred to it as tasting like “Death wrapped around a dirty rock dipped in a packet of equal.” I still stand beside that statement.

“Count Pokeula” – This is what I call my finger pricker. He is a vampire. He stabs me on a daily basis and draws blood from my fingertips and forces  me to take my blood sugar. Evil S.O.B. that one is.

“The Slice and Dice” – I have had a few people in my day ask me if I could check their blood sugars for them and I do (after I change out the needles…no needle sharing here, folks.) Every single time I kind of jerk my hand in nervousness and instead of a straight up finger poke they get a little slice…sorry…but I did check your blood for you and…gasp…. it’s completely normal…. which leads me to….

“I want to punch you in the face” – Sometimes, maybe, I will think that I want to punch you in the face after I checked your blood sugar and it’s awesome because you hve a functional pancreas that takes care of all your needs..which leads me to…

“The shriveled up dead thing” – This is what I call my actual pancreas. I don’t know what it is supposed to look like, nor do I care to because I am a bit squeamish, but I envision my pancreas to be a shriveled up dead thing floating around my body.

“Mo money, mo problems” – I just wanted to say that.

“The helper” – This is the good samaritan who likes to say to a diabetic “Should you be eating sugar?” To which I would say “Should you be shutting your face?”…I would never say that or even think it really. Well, not think it in a serious matter, at least.

“What’s your blood sugar?” – The response I get when I’m being exceptionally weird…which let’s face it…is most of the time. And most of the time my blood levels are normal. I’m just a weirdo.


I guess I’m done for now. I hope you all have a lovely morning/afternoon/ evening. And remember.. An act of kindness a day keeps the doctor away.



Low Blood Sugar Grocery Store Blues

Tonight marks another low blood sugar in the grocery store night…. went in for some chili powder and walked out with the loss of my dignity.

Background: Worked out tonight without my Continuous Glucose Monitor of which could have warned me of a low blood sugar and to top that I did not use a “temp basal rate” on my pump before or during workout, which would have decreased my insulin rates as I worked out and thereby kept me normaler. “Normaler”….it’s not an actual word, but it should be.


1. Jell-o Pudding – this sounded delicious at the time…too bad I did not think to purchase milk to make it.

2. Lime flavored Jell-o. I’ve said it before, but I don’t like Jello. The only time it appeals to me is if it is in the form of an alcoholic shot or I have a low blood sugar.

3. Trash bags – I actually needed these and there was a coupon on the box.

4. The movie “Just Go With It” – I just watched this and definitely did not need to buy it. Who buys DVD’s these days when you can just buy and download instantly through the internet? That’s right. I’m down with the 21st century, yo.

5. Kraft Mac and Cheese (I got the blue box blues) – too bad this is another item that requires milk…

6. Juice boxes (a low blood sugar staple for most diabetics)

7. Peanut Butter

8. Grape Jelly – already have a full jar of this in the fridge that I barely use.

9. A kit-kat – Ate this in the car before driving home.

10. A suduko book – I don’t even know..guess I wanted to improve my brain a little.

11. Crayola Crayons (or as I say “crowns”) and a Minnie and Mickey coloring book. 

12. A 1000 piece puzzle of a castle…I think I reverted to a 10 year old child…

13. Oreos – it should be noted that I already had bought Oreos earlier today…of which will be taken to my co-workers tomorrow by the demand of a good friend who knows I don’t want that stuff in my house no mo. Thank you, friend.

14. Diet Dr. Pepper – Oh, I curse the carbonated deliciousness of this drink. I’m trying to not buy soda for my house and only drink water when inside these beautiful walls.

15. Crush Orange Single Serving Drink Mixes – similar to the Crystal Light packets you put in a bottle of water. I don’t know what to think about this….will it just be an orange flavor? Will it some how turn my water into a carbonated orange drink? I’ll find out tomorrow.

And best of all when I went to check-out I got distracted by the candy in front of me and handed the cashier my phone instead of my coupon for the trash bags. He gave me a strange look like I was a weirdo so I gave him a look like “What’s you problem, man?” He just handed me my phone back and I put my head down in shame.

Thankfully, I went back to the store later and was allowed to return the movie, coloring book, puzzle, jelly, and oreos (I still have my first package for work tomorrow..minus 3 cookies…ok, ok. 4!). I don’t think they are technically suppose to allow the return of food items…but oh well…works for me! 

And…Yes…. I did not even get what I went in there to buy in the first place. Chili powder. Luckily I located a pack in my cupboard. If I had known this, this whole event could have been avoided.

My Pros and Cons of the CGM

It’s 2 am on a cold blustery night. I’m snug as a bug in a rug with my down comforter tucked up to my chin, my 6 pillows lying in wait around me ready to cushion my head in whichever way I decide to sleep and all this on top of my pillow-top bed that’s basically the best thing ever. Life is good. Dreaming the dreams, keeping it real. Don’t have to wake up for work for another 5 hours. Woot woot. Pure bliss. Oh but wait…something is insistently beeping. What is that? I try to ignore it, but it is gradually getting louder and louder until I can’t take it anymore. (Insert cuss words of reader’s choice)

What could possibly be so annoying as to wake me from my precious, blissful sleep, you wonder? The continuous glucose monitor (CGM). A loud, annoying, wonderful invention that makes me want to both leap for joy and stab someone at the same time.  Stab? That’s kind of extreme….maybe I’ll change that to punch a wall. Yeah, less violence… Punch a wall. Hard. Then stab it. Whoah whoah… deep breaths. I’m good now. Lightly tap the wall in just a slight bit of anger and that’s it. No stabbing.

For those of you who don’t know a CGM is something that you pray your insurance covers (because it is exxpppppeeeennnnssssiiiivvveeee) and it attaches to your body sort of like the insulin pump without the “beeper” portion. It then tests your fluids (some sort of fluids that is right under the skin) and tells you your glucose levels every 5 minutes and wirelessly tells your pump what’s happening. That’s a pretty unintelligent and generic answer…look it up if you want more info. There are different kinds that work different ways and I am only talking about my mini med CGM.

cgm and pump

I’ve written about the CGM before, but it was mostly me complaining about not getting it to work right. I wanted to write one that was more legit. Too legit, too legit to quit. Hammer time.


The alarms – They go off constantly. People probably think I have some sort of bomb attached to me. The alarm will go off when your going high, going low, losing signal, need to check your blood sugar for calibration. Some days it feels like it is beeping at me every 3 seconds. I tend to ignore alarms and then they just keep going off, so part of this con is operator error. The worst is at night though as I have explained above. I love sleep. I hate anything that interrupts it. I’ll stab it.

The beeper – I’ve mentioned this in my pump cons before. People think I have a beeper. Really? It’s 2013…you know me, I’m not a doctor. I do accounting…

”Oh, the taxes are due?”

“Hurry up! Page Emily on her beeper! Stat!”

Use some sense people.  Do beepers come with tubes attached that disappear under a persons clothes? I mean seriously.…..whoah…I’m not annoyed by it or anything….clearly…haha. The point of this rant is that because the CGM is constantly feeding my pump information about what kind of shenanigans my blood levels are up to, I am constantly looking at my pump in fascination checking my levels and making it more noticeable to people than the times before I had the CGM when I only had to look at my pump when I ate and needed to bolus or correct a high. In the past month I have had 5 people ask me if I had a beeper….that’s quite an increase from the once or twice a year I used to get the question.


Awesomeness – There is a sense of calm and control when you know your blood sugar is dropping or raising and you can correct accordingly.

Graphs – You can see a graph of your blood sugars over a 3 hour, 6 hour, 12 hour and 24 hour period. I just think it’s cool to look at.

Drinking – I know that Type 1’s shouldn’t drink alcohol, but seriously, it’s going to happen. Alcohol (at least with me) can take your blood sugar high and then drop it real fast. If you are a little tipsy (ever’body in the club gettin’ tipsy) it is nice to have the CGM and actually see when your levels start to drop. This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I hadn’t gotten low yet, but I could see it was dropping so I ate a few crackers and all was good. Crisis averted.

Exercise – Same as drinking….you can see when your levels are dropping. In the past high intensity work outs were scary to me because I was afraid of what my glucose levels would do, but the CGM gives me more comfort and confidence to get the job done and not worry about what my blood sugar is doing. Booyah.

Welp, that’s all I got for now. I have songs stuck in my head that are driving me mad and preventing me from thinking clearly. Good day. I said good day!

A Day in the Life…

Below is a typical day in my type 1 diabetic life. Might be a little weird, but that’s who I am so… yeah.

5:30am – at some point in the night pump unclipped from my pajama pants and I am now wrapped like a mental patient in my tubing. Sooo tired and soooo mad I have to untangle myself. Just. Want. To. Go. Back. To. Sleep. I should really order a shorter tubing on my next supply order. (Note: I’ve been telling myself this for years and have yet to do it….I just love my procrastination ways…)


7:11am – alarm goes off (bleh) roll out of bed, disconnect from pump so I can bathe before an amazing work day filled with numbers and binder clips.


7:30am – pump still disconnected and it beeps informing that it is in “SUSPEND” mode and I need to reconnect. “Yeah, yeah… I hear ya. Chill.” Yes, I talk to my pump. I can do what I want, ok? We have a connection. He saves my life on a daily basis.


10:ish am – Feeling super irritable. Complain to my work neighbor and then hear the pump beeping at me

Me – “You rang?”

Pumpys – “SUSPEND”

….Yep, while I DID connect after showering I forgot to take it off “SUSPEND” mode…this means I haven’t been receiving any insulin for 2.5-3 hours. “Son of a!”


3 min after 10:ish am – Unsuspend, dig through my purse for blood sugar machine… find everything but machine. “Where are you, you little rat?” Ah! It is found buried beneath some fabric. I have one test strip left (mental note: get more glucose strips next time I’m home). Blood sugar is super high. Give myself appropriate insulin.


11:30 am – Didn’t eat breakfast and am hungry and contemplating lunch while having a mental conversation with myself.

I – “Do you feel like you still have a high blood sugar?”

Me -“I don’t know”

I -“Why don’t you check your blood sugar and find out?”

Me -“Why don’t YOU check YOUR blood sugar and find out? Geez. Get off my back already.”

I -“Brat.”


12:15pm – Blood sugar back to normal so I eat lunch and try to figure out my carb intake and give appropriate insulin amount. Not really sure on carbs so I guess and error on a higher insulin intake.


12:50pm  – Trying to rush out of my house so I won’t be late getting back to work when I realize I need more test strips. Run back in house and scour for the random place I tossed them after going to the pharmacy previously…


12:55 pm – “Found you, you little blood suckers! Going to be late now. Thanks, alatte…”


1:30ish pm – Go back to the copy machine to make a copy and brush my side where the pump is and thereby knocking it off my pants. Arms are full and I let the pump dangle to my side until I set my stuff down. Then  I swing it up into my hands with the tubing in a fascinating magical way. (Sometimes I like to swing the tubing around when the clip unclips itself from me. You gotta see it to believe it.)



2:30 pm – Feeling a little loopy, “drunkish,” and confused – Sure fire signals that my blood sugar is low. Check blood sugar and I am low.

I  – “Why did you have to error on giving more instead of less insulin at lunch?”

Me – “Why do you have to be such a buttface all the time? Mistakes happen.”

I – “Whatevs. I need sugar, please.”


3:00 pm – Thinking about my decision to consciously remember my daily thoughts so I can blog them. Riveting stuff! Or not…. Haha.


4:12 pm – Pump beeps at me.

Me – “What now?!?!?”

Pumpys – “Low Resevoir”

Me – “Already? Feels like I just changed you. Dang it. Can you wait til I get home?”

(I hate changing my pump site…I don’t know why…It only takes 5 min or so every 3-4 days, but I still  hate doing it.)


5:15 pm – Gather my pump supplies and go about the site change. No biggie til I go to insert it. This always takes some courage for me. I scrunch my face up, working up my nerves to click the button that shoots the needle with tiny tube in me. Press the button….“Son of a! That one hurt!”

I – “It didn’t hurt that bad, you’re being a drama queen.”

Me – “You are right. It may not have hurt too bad but it still stung more than usual…like a monster size bee with evil plans of world domination and it’s going to…”

I – “Yeah, well stop with the exaggeration and deal with it.”

Me – “Whatevs. I was just getting into my story, Party Pooper.”


6:00pm – eat supper and figure insulin intake.


8:44 pm – Stomach hurts. Is it my blood sugar or am I getting sick?


9:00 pm – check blood sugar. It’s fine. Not sure why I felt bad. An unsolved mystery. Call  Matlock. (<—–That was dumb, but I’m going to keep the writing anyway since I thought it)


12:44 am – After numerous YouTube videos I decide I should go to bed. Get in bed and sigh…soooo nice…can’t wait to sleep and sleep and sleeeeppppp. Turn to the side and “Ouch” Pump clip is on my hip. Adjust it to my front so it won’t disrupt my precious sleep. (During day pump is clipped to my side, during sleep I move it to my front.)


3:30 am – Wake up with a “not right” feeling. Pretty sure I’m low, but check my blood sugar to confirm. Yep.

I stumble like  a drunken sailor into the kitchen to dig around for some sort of sugar intake. End up choosing a spoonful of peanut butter for protein and a juice box for carbs. Carbs raise blood sugar quickly, protein stays in system longer to ensure I won’t go low again in the night.


3:45 am – Can’t fall back asleep. Work will come all too soon. I wish I could quit you,  Diabetes.



That’s about a typical day in my type 1 diabetic life. Sometimes it’s annoying, but for the most part my thoughts and the things I do involving diabetes are second nature to me. I had many more diabetes thoughts throughout the day, but because it is so second nature and a part of me it is difficult to pluck them out of my memory for this post. Just know…I am awesome. 🙂

Drinking = Ghost Babies


Today is one of those days where I find being T1D especially annnoooyyyingggg. I know I’ve previously said the pump allows one to eat as much or as little as one wants, but that is not precisely true. There is a fine line and you have to know what to adjust when and where… annndddd I don’t really know what I’m doing so I’m just writing this awesome post instead.

I have not been hungry the past

few days… especially today (maybe because I celebrated the New Year a little too much yesterday and it feels like ghost babies are riding my brain waves) I’m on my lunch hour and all I want to do is lay down for 30 min or 5 hours…  It’s tricky, for sure. I know I have to eat something so I don’t go low and I know I can’t just not give myself insulin cause I’ll go too high.

I guess I don’t really have any intellectual thoughts on the matter except  that these ghost babies are making it difficult for me to figure out what I need to do…eat, not eat, add a temp basil rate,  don’t add a temp rate, bolus, don’t bolus, do cartwheels, don’t do cartwheels…gives you a headache, right?

Maybe I should just not drink? There’s a thought!

A few months ago I went on a wine trip for a friend’s bachelorette where we drank wine all day then had the brilliant idea to switch to hard alcohol shots that night….needless to say we had some sick gals that night, myself included. It was a little frustrating and scary because I felt so horrible, and after being sick I knew I had to force something down me so I didn’t go low in the night, but who wants to eat anything after that!?!? I managed to force a cracker down and drink some regular soda, but it wasn’t easy. Sometimes it just sucks all around.

I’m sorry I made this a complaining post. As annoying as I find being T1D today, I’m still in a good mood. Trying to be in front of other people at least… I don’t want to be one of those people whose bad moods spread like a cancer and put others in bad moods. So, I’m good. Might try to do some weird thing when I get back to work to get a confused look  or a laugh out of someone…I’ll consider it my act of kindness today. Do they appreciate the things I do? Maybe…maybe not… Will it I do it anyway? Most definitely.