Life.

I haven’t had a many ideas lately for writing a Type 1 Diabetes blog entry, but I do today. So here goes.

I don’t think I’d be way off base by saying I am a bit of a free spirit. I don’t like following orders, I don’t like people questioning my motives, I don’t like the rules… wait… this sounds darn right bratty… hmmm. Oh well. All our lives it seems we are taught to do the “right thing.” What is the “right thing?” For a middle class midwestern family I’d say it’s go to college, pick a good major, make sure your future is accounted for by the time you turn 18, settle down, have some kids, blah, blah, blah, rules, rules, rules. None of this is bad by any means. People are very lucky to have accomplished these things, but it isn’t always right for everyone. We are raised to follow our dreams, reach for the stars, all those other cliché sayings. What they don’t tell us is that yes, you should follow your dreams… as long as it’s financially responsible. Reach for the stars, but try to keep your feet on the ground. Now I’m not saying every middle class American family is like this, but in general? Yes. For the lucky ones (what I consider lucky, anyway), they break through and break free. As a type 1 diabetic, I don’t see how it’s possible to break free. Spread the wings and fly… (Is that a song? I think it is…I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, spread my wings and fly away… oh, R Kelly…) Anyway, We have to have insulin. It’s integral to living. Insulin is not cheap. How could we possibly drop everything and move to a new city, a new country, change our career path, or move to an island somewhere to sell coconuts on a beach? Anything but stay where we are? We have to have a plan, we have to have a job lined up, make sure it has a good health insurance plan, all that jazz. The kind of stuff that clips the wings of any sort of free spirited bird. The whole situation is frustrating.

I am not saying I want to run off to Mexico City and work for an amazing foundation that rescues big cats or anything, but I’m not saying it’s something I don’t want to do either. I want the option. I want to be able to think about my future and not have to consider my disease and limitations. I want to go scuba diving with some dolphins, gosh darn it! Being a free spirit for a healthy individual is hard enough in a small town middle class American society without throwing in an expensive chronic disease to go with it. I just wonder if there are any Type 1’s out there that have broken free of the expected? If so, I sure would like to hear their story!

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Diabetes means your pancreas looks like a shriveled up noodle.

“Diabetes means your pancreas looks like a shriveled up noodle.” Haha… this is one of the things my family and friends had to say about Type 1 diabetes when I asked them what they thought it meant. Some gave me a legit answer and some gave me some humorous answers.

I have a habit of always saying things like “I’m low”  “I’m high” I forgot to turn my pump on” “I haven’t been getting insulin the last hour” “I don’t feel good, I think my blood sugars are messed up.” “You make my face hurt.” Things that might go over some of my friends heads or have them thinking I’m some sort of alien. Type 1 has been with me for so long I forget that not everyone realizes what I’m talking about. I just assume they know and you know what it means to assume. Ass-U-Me.

I thought it’d be interesting to see what some of the people closest to me think about Type 1. It has provided me with great entertainment…so here you go. I’m keeping it somewhat anonymous so I don’t embarrass anyone.

“It’s where you can’t have sugar bc your heart will stop….No….cause your pancreas can’t create life juice.” – Brother

“All I know is that you had to pee an unreal amount when you were little and it was annoying.  You have to pee a lot and take shots bc your pancreas is dumb. Your pancreas is so dumb it can’t do the one thing it was supposed to. It didn’t study enough.” – Other brother

“I know that you have to watch what you eat and there’s tingling in your in feet.” – Sister in law to which my brother responded “You’re just repeating what you saw in a commercial”

“It is early onset diabetes. No cause or nothing to cause it. Your body doesn’t process glucose and therefore you have to monitor it yourself and make adjustments. Having a good diet and exercise can help too.” – Childhood Friend *There is a cause to type 1…dealing with genetics..freak genes… and some environmental things… such as an illness (like chicken pox) can trigger the cells to destroy the pancreatic cells that create my “life juices” or insulin as it is commonly referred to as.

“I think of “juvenile diabetes,” though I know it’s becoming more commonly diagnosed in adults, too. It’s a chronic disease where the pancreas isn’t able to regulate the amount of sugar in the person’s blood. It’s not curable and it’s not fair.” – childhood friend

“It is a condition in which the pancreas doesn’t produce enough insulin to keep the body’s blood sugar (glucose??) levels stable. People with type 1 need insulin to control it whereas type 2 people can control it in other ways, i.e. medication, diet, etc.” – New friend

“I’ll be embarrassed if I’m wrong. Type 1 diabetes is when your  pancreas can’t regulate the sugar in your blood. So you need to test your blood and manage the insulin level yourself.”    When I asked for a childhood memory: “I remember being jealous. I thought it was neat that you checked your blood sugar and you had that gold medical alert necklace. And you had to go to a camp for type 1 kids and I was sad I couldn’t do that too.”  – Childhood Friend *Side note: Diabetes Camp was the WORST experience of my LIFE! Putting a shy introverted kid in a camp where I knew no one was my worst nightmare. I’m lucky I made it out alive… haha… I’m not being dramatic or anything… I would never be dramatic!!! NO!!!

“Diabetes means your pancreas looks like a shriveled up noodle.” – Childhood friend

“It’s a life time sentence given to children. Children that should not have to be burdened with dietary restrictions. Children that never asked to have to test their blood several times a day. Children that just want to fit in with their friends. To have the freedom to enjoy a piece of birthday cake at a party without the hassle. Adults that have to watch everything they put into their bodies. Doctor appointments. Fear they’ve done something wrong that could have terrible consequences. A lifetime sentence without the chance for parole except they never committed a crime.” – Childhood friend – She told me after this she wasn’t trying to be gloomy, but that she was just trying to think of the hardships and I’d say she was pretty accurate… at least accurate in getting into my mind on the matter.

“Well from what I have gathered diabetes is a condition where a persons pancreas doesn’t function properly enough to provide the body with enough insulin to stabilize blood sugar levels…as far as “what it is”.. That’s about all I know really.. I’m not familiar with the different types and the differences really.. I know there are type 1 and 2 I think.. And then I know there is juvenile diabetes and also my mom had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant with me.” – New friend *Juvenile is type 1

All in all I think most people had the basic gist of it all…except my family.. and there were a few statements from friends that weren’t a 100% but they did good and that makes my heart happy. I was planning on gathering more from people because I’m very interested in what people in my life have to say about it, but I lack patience so I’m going to post this one and maybe do a part 2 at a later date.

Holidays Schmolidays

I’m baaccckkk…..

I knew I wanted to write something tonight, but I couldn’t think of anything so I asked a trusty friend and she suggested a holiday post. If you hate this post please direct your negativity to your mirror and punch yourself in the face.

Holidays… what can I say? It’s a tricky time for a diabetic. Lots of traveling, non normal eating times, tons of food and dessert floating around all over the place…one needs to be a little extra diligent so they don’t go into a high blood sugar coma.

Uhhhh…turns out I don’t think I have the humor to do this post tonight… heart is a tad sad. Perhaps it is the winter blues, perhaps it is something else, either way I’m going to have to come back to this one because I think it will be a good one to write in the appropriate mood. Buuuttt I want to post something so I’m going to repost one of my favorites.. Top 10 Reasons it Sucks to be Type 1 Diabetic. And suck it does. That’s what she said.

Top 10 Reasons it Sucks to be Type 1 Diabetic

  1. You need to be a math magician. Count carbs, give the right amount of insulin to account for carbs, try to exercise and need to figure out how much less insulin to give so you don’t go low or high if you subtract too much. Blah blah blah. I could go on, but I don’t feel like it. So there! >:P
  2. Attachment disorder. I feel abnormally attached to my pump….I guess that isn’t really abnormal, it does keep me kickin’ and not cremated in a jar somewhere. However, I do feel practically naked if it is disconnected from me for too long. I may be liable to flip out and start running into walls repeatedly until I am magically connected again.
  3. Diet Soda. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE diet soda, but when I go to restaurants it is sometimes hard to distinguish if the waiter/waitress actually gave me a diet soda. If the fountain tank contraption thing-a-ma-bobbers aren’t set up right it can have too much syrup stuff and make a diet soda not taste diet. Then I have to ask the person(s) I’m with to test it out for me, while they look at me like I’m a nut job, and 8 times out of 10 they can’t tell themselves. Then I have to ask the waiter/waitress to get me a new one to be safe and risk them spitting in my drink for being a nuisance.
  4. Sugar Free Hard Candy. Evil stuff. Tastes like death wrapped around a dirty rock dipped in a packet of Equal. Some people (teachers, mostly) have tried to be respectful and give this to me as if to say “they care” but it actually makes me think they are trying to kill me. Give me the real stuff. I have an insulin pump. I can handle it.
  5. Bloody fingers. Yuck. Also, attached to this one is holes. I poke holes in my fingers, holes in my belly. I’m just a holy gal, I guess.
  6. Eating. I like to eat, but I don’t like being forced to eat because my blood sugar is low or not being able to eat because I’m waiting to stop getting high.
  7. Tubing on the pump. My pump has tubing…I’m sure most of you have seen it hanging out of my clothes. Lord knows people like to constantly tell me it’s not tucked in. Well, sometimes it doesn’t want to be hidden. Sometimes it wants to be foot loose and fancy free.
  8. Tubing on the pump. I already said this one? Well, I have more to say. Shock, I know. Sometimes when the tubing is hanging free kids and cats think it is ok to play with it like a string, and I don’t realize until I feel a tug on the part connected to me. Ouch, people.
  9. Insurance companies. Enough said.

And the last one is….. drum rollplease….

10.  Media Portrayal of Diabetes. Some medias get it right but most of the time no one distinguishes what type is being discussed (usually type 2) so all    the normal people remain uninformed and see all diabetes as fixable and preventable. “Can’t you just exercise and you’ll be better?” No! I have type 1, buttface! Get the facts. Then I have to go into the whole immune system thing and how my body just decided to turn on itself and the cells that fight off sickness in my body saw my pancreas cells as bad (even though they are good, very good) and visciously ripped their throats out. And then the people’s eyes glaze over and they stop listening and just nod.

“Yeah, yeah my (insert uncle/grandpa/dad) was just diagnosed, so I already know this.”  -random person

“Were you even listening to anything I said?” – me

“Uh…” – random person.

Just break the wrist, and walk away.

Please Don’t Ever Say This to a Type 1 (Prob Type 2’s too)

I have compiled a list of things that you should never say to me unless you want to get beat.

Now… this post is in good fun so to any family and friends out there who have said any of this to me…deal with it, yo. I’m 50% kidding, 50% serious. In other words I’m old enough that I don’t really care one way or the other if you say these shenanigans to me.

I don’t want anyone to stop asking me questions on my diseaseys  in the heazies (that’s what I’m nicknaming it tonight) I like informing people of the different types and what I do to keep on truckin’ so keep on askin.” I’m in the mood that I’m part country/ part gansta tonight.

Anyway here are a few for you.

1. “You need to eat something.”

This is a big one in my family and most of the time I’m told this when I’m completely normal…and by normal I mean my normal strange self. Proceeding this statement is people bringing me food after I already said I didn’t want anything… I’ve survived with this for 25 years…I’m well aware of when I need to eat something. I appreciate the caring, but please stop harassing me.

In my younger days they used to constantly give me rice krispy treats and muffins…. I swear, to this day, I can’t look at a rice krispy treat without getting upset and quite frankly, scared someone is going to try to make me eat it. I’ll probably have nightmares tonight. Thanks a lot, blog!

 2. “Have your kidneys/ eyes/ feet or whatever complication a type 1 can give you down the road failed you yet?”

Ummmm…seriously? It’s the “yet” that gets me riled. You don’t knowwwww me. You don’t knowwwww where I live. Just cause you know an old man that had problems doesn’t mean I will.

3.    “Should you be eating that?”

This one doesn’t bother me as much as it does other type 1’s. I’ve said it in previous posts. We can eat whatever you can eat…we just have to give enough insulin to cover it. Research and medicine treatments have come a long way since 20 years ago.  Join the 21st century why don’t ya?

4. “Why are you acting weird? Are you low?”

It’s my face. Shush it.

5. “Is that a pager?”

Yes. Yes it is a pager. I’m very important…. living in the 90’s and all that jazz.

That’s all you people get. Now stop harassing me for more blog posts!! Haha…100% kidding on that one!! Thanks for the support and requests.

And please don’t ever say these things to Type 1’s…foreva eva and eva evaaa? Yes.

Emily’s Silver Linings Playbook

Silver linings. Silver linings are defined as “a hopeful or comforting prospect in the midst of difficulty.” I believe every difficult aspect of life can have a silver lining. You just have to look for it. Finding a silver lining for having type 1 diabetes is not too hard for me. As annoying as it can be at times, I’ve never had too much difficulty finding the humor in it as well as using it to my advantage when warranted.

I’ve pretty much already written a post about this called Top Reasons You Want to be Type 1 Diabetic..I just didn’t use the fanciness of the words “Silver Linings” oooooo…I am like soooo totes cool right now.

You know what? I’m having writers block right now so I am going to go do some Just Dance 3 on the Wii to get my brain waves flowin’…If I had a big trampoline that’d be better, but alas, I do not. Please starting crying for me. This is a tragedy.

Ok, I’m back now.

For me the biggest silver lining on being type 1 is probably getting away with whatever I want. Haha. Want to punch someone in the face? Do it. “My blood sugar was really low, like 20. I’m lucky I didn’t go into a coma and die.” Get really hyper for no blood sugar related reason and embarrass yourself? “I was soooo low… clearly I would never sing in a super high voice and prance around a room if my blood levels were good.” Want to get out of going to your Great Aunt Sally’s bagpipe convention? “I’m having some issues with my insulin pump. I’ll probably be on the phone with the supplier for hours….sorry ’bout it.” Not paying attention to someone who’s talking? “I’m sorry, I need to go check my blood sugar.” Works like a charm.

My next silver lining is more in my mind and not for every type 1 out there, but sometimes I feel like I skipped out on other illnesses and problems because of my type 1ness. I don’t have allergies, I don’t really get headaches or such things. I feel like God is up there saying “Yo, she’s diabetic. She doesn’t need any other problems on top of that.” Why, thank you sir. Thank you very much.

There’s more silver linings out there, but I’m ready to move on to another task of the evening. Like practice some guitar…which is annoying and I want to bash it against a wall in frustration most of the time…. whoah. I must have a high blood sugar right now. 😉

Not For the Faint of Heart

I went to the doctor recently and was scolded for my a1c (average of my overall blood sugar levels over a 3 month period) being too high… I blame crossfit but more on that later. I was told I need to keep my CGM (continuous glucose monitor) on for two weeks and then go back to see if it has gone down… Unfortunately I have been having major issues with the CGM and I feel like showing you all a gross display of bloody pictures. If you are faint of heart I suggest you leave this page immediately… If it wasn’t my own blood I’d probably pass out in heap…

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I don’t even know why there was such a bad bruise… I was actually pretty shocked to discover it after I removed the CGM and saw it. Yuck. That stinkin’ sensor cost $40 and only lasts for 3-7 days so it really really sucks when they don’t work the first day you put it in.

Anndd… The sensor I had in prior was fine until I went to crossfit the day of insertion and sweated my face off, because when I got home and went to shower the sensor was completely out… The sweat made it not stick to me anymore, I suppose. That’s $80 worth of sensors in a 2 day period. Son. Of. A. Monkey’s. Uncle!! Does any type 1’s with a CGM have any good taping suggestions I could use to prevent this from happening in the future? Cause, seriously, $40 is a lot of money to be tossing down the drain for this poor gal…

Terms of Endearment – Part 1

Here are some Type 1 diabetes terms of endearment I like to use on a regular basis.

“I’m high” – When the blood sugar is high…sometimes can cause a sleepy dazed look which people might actually mistake for a drug induced high….I’m just high on life, man. Peace, love and happiness.

“I’m low” – When blood sugar is low. If a diabetic ever says this around you get them some sugar, but whatever you do, DO NOT let them inside a grocery store! Terrible things may happen….lime jello might be bought. For the love of God, keep them away!!! Oh the humanity!

“We got a bleeder.” – This happens when I prick my finger and it continues to bleed after a longish (30 second) period of time. It’s annoying really….especially if you touch something not realizing and leave a trail of blood…kind of gross…to other people…I think my blood and wherever it lands is awesome. Sometimes I reread what I type and I don’t make sense….deal with it, yo.

“Son of a!!!!” – This happens when I change my pump site and it is  a hurtful one. 7 times out of 10 it doesn’t really hurt, but when it does…SON OF A!! That’s gonna leave a mark. (Tommy Boy) I hope most of you got that..otherwise we can’t be friends.

“Is this Diet?” – A diet soda is not always recognizable in a restaurant setting. Just accept it if I ask you to try my soda and tell me what you think of it’s diet/ non-diet status.

The Blood Fountain Gusher – This is what I refer to when I prick my finger and blood literally shoots out my finger tips. It doesn’t happen often, but it is a sight to behold when it does. I should probably be a super hero. I shall from this day forward only respond to “Emily the Finger Blood Shooter Outer”…. that sounds pretty legit and awesome, right? Not lame at all….no, sir. Not lame at all.

“Your mom goes to college.”  – That has noting to do with diabetes I just wanted to quote Napoleon Dynamite. Gosh!

My Beeps/ Pumps/ Pumpers/ Pumpies/ Fred – A list of some of my nicknames for my insulin pump. It prefers to be called “Insulin Pump the 3rd”, but I just think that’s too pretentious and I refuse to give into the demands of my beeps.

I’ve decided to make this post a Part 1 of a series  because  even though I have more diabetes terms I like to use, I’m ready to move on to a new task for the evening. I call it put on the jam jams and jam. A delightful time that consists of pajamas and the singing (or off key bellowing) of lovely tunes…like the Avett Brothers or some other really awesome band.

My Pros and Cons of the CGM

It’s 2 am on a cold blustery night. I’m snug as a bug in a rug with my down comforter tucked up to my chin, my 6 pillows lying in wait around me ready to cushion my head in whichever way I decide to sleep and all this on top of my pillow-top bed that’s basically the best thing ever. Life is good. Dreaming the dreams, keeping it real. Don’t have to wake up for work for another 5 hours. Woot woot. Pure bliss. Oh but wait…something is insistently beeping. What is that? I try to ignore it, but it is gradually getting louder and louder until I can’t take it anymore. (Insert cuss words of reader’s choice)

What could possibly be so annoying as to wake me from my precious, blissful sleep, you wonder? The continuous glucose monitor (CGM). A loud, annoying, wonderful invention that makes me want to both leap for joy and stab someone at the same time.  Stab? That’s kind of extreme….maybe I’ll change that to punch a wall. Yeah, less violence… Punch a wall. Hard. Then stab it. Whoah whoah… deep breaths. I’m good now. Lightly tap the wall in just a slight bit of anger and that’s it. No stabbing.

For those of you who don’t know a CGM is something that you pray your insurance covers (because it is exxpppppeeeennnnssssiiiivvveeee) and it attaches to your body sort of like the insulin pump without the “beeper” portion. It then tests your fluids (some sort of fluids that is right under the skin) and tells you your glucose levels every 5 minutes and wirelessly tells your pump what’s happening. That’s a pretty unintelligent and generic answer…look it up if you want more info. There are different kinds that work different ways and I am only talking about my mini med CGM.

cgm and pump

I’ve written about the CGM before, but it was mostly me complaining about not getting it to work right. I wanted to write one that was more legit. Too legit, too legit to quit. Hammer time.

Cons:

The alarms – They go off constantly. People probably think I have some sort of bomb attached to me. The alarm will go off when your going high, going low, losing signal, need to check your blood sugar for calibration. Some days it feels like it is beeping at me every 3 seconds. I tend to ignore alarms and then they just keep going off, so part of this con is operator error. The worst is at night though as I have explained above. I love sleep. I hate anything that interrupts it. I’ll stab it.

The beeper – I’ve mentioned this in my pump cons before. People think I have a beeper. Really? It’s 2013…you know me, I’m not a doctor. I do accounting…

”Oh, the taxes are due?”

“Hurry up! Page Emily on her beeper! Stat!”

Use some sense people.  Do beepers come with tubes attached that disappear under a persons clothes? I mean seriously.…..whoah…I’m not annoyed by it or anything….clearly…haha. The point of this rant is that because the CGM is constantly feeding my pump information about what kind of shenanigans my blood levels are up to, I am constantly looking at my pump in fascination checking my levels and making it more noticeable to people than the times before I had the CGM when I only had to look at my pump when I ate and needed to bolus or correct a high. In the past month I have had 5 people ask me if I had a beeper….that’s quite an increase from the once or twice a year I used to get the question.

Pros:

Awesomeness – There is a sense of calm and control when you know your blood sugar is dropping or raising and you can correct accordingly.

Graphs – You can see a graph of your blood sugars over a 3 hour, 6 hour, 12 hour and 24 hour period. I just think it’s cool to look at.

Drinking – I know that Type 1’s shouldn’t drink alcohol, but seriously, it’s going to happen. Alcohol (at least with me) can take your blood sugar high and then drop it real fast. If you are a little tipsy (ever’body in the club gettin’ tipsy) it is nice to have the CGM and actually see when your levels start to drop. This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I hadn’t gotten low yet, but I could see it was dropping so I ate a few crackers and all was good. Crisis averted.

Exercise – Same as drinking….you can see when your levels are dropping. In the past high intensity work outs were scary to me because I was afraid of what my glucose levels would do, but the CGM gives me more comfort and confidence to get the job done and not worry about what my blood sugar is doing. Booyah.

Welp, that’s all I got for now. I have songs stuck in my head that are driving me mad and preventing me from thinking clearly. Good day. I said good day!

A Day in the Life…

Below is a typical day in my type 1 diabetic life. Might be a little weird, but that’s who I am so… yeah.

5:30am – at some point in the night pump unclipped from my pajama pants and I am now wrapped like a mental patient in my tubing. Sooo tired and soooo mad I have to untangle myself. Just. Want. To. Go. Back. To. Sleep. I should really order a shorter tubing on my next supply order. (Note: I’ve been telling myself this for years and have yet to do it….I just love my procrastination ways…)

 

7:11am – alarm goes off (bleh) roll out of bed, disconnect from pump so I can bathe before an amazing work day filled with numbers and binder clips.

 

7:30am – pump still disconnected and it beeps informing that it is in “SUSPEND” mode and I need to reconnect. “Yeah, yeah… I hear ya. Chill.” Yes, I talk to my pump. I can do what I want, ok? We have a connection. He saves my life on a daily basis.

 

10:ish am – Feeling super irritable. Complain to my work neighbor and then hear the pump beeping at me

Me – “You rang?”

Pumpys – “SUSPEND”

….Yep, while I DID connect after showering I forgot to take it off “SUSPEND” mode…this means I haven’t been receiving any insulin for 2.5-3 hours. “Son of a!”

 

3 min after 10:ish am – Unsuspend, dig through my purse for blood sugar machine… find everything but machine. “Where are you, you little rat?” Ah! It is found buried beneath some fabric. I have one test strip left (mental note: get more glucose strips next time I’m home). Blood sugar is super high. Give myself appropriate insulin.

 

11:30 am – Didn’t eat breakfast and am hungry and contemplating lunch while having a mental conversation with myself.

I – “Do you feel like you still have a high blood sugar?”

Me -“I don’t know”

I -“Why don’t you check your blood sugar and find out?”

Me -“Why don’t YOU check YOUR blood sugar and find out? Geez. Get off my back already.”

I -“Brat.”

 

12:15pm – Blood sugar back to normal so I eat lunch and try to figure out my carb intake and give appropriate insulin amount. Not really sure on carbs so I guess and error on a higher insulin intake.

 

12:50pm  – Trying to rush out of my house so I won’t be late getting back to work when I realize I need more test strips. Run back in house and scour for the random place I tossed them after going to the pharmacy previously…

 

12:55 pm – “Found you, you little blood suckers! Going to be late now. Thanks, alatte…”

 

1:30ish pm – Go back to the copy machine to make a copy and brush my side where the pump is and thereby knocking it off my pants. Arms are full and I let the pump dangle to my side until I set my stuff down. Then  I swing it up into my hands with the tubing in a fascinating magical way. (Sometimes I like to swing the tubing around when the clip unclips itself from me. You gotta see it to believe it.)

 

 

2:30 pm – Feeling a little loopy, “drunkish,” and confused – Sure fire signals that my blood sugar is low. Check blood sugar and I am low.

I  – “Why did you have to error on giving more instead of less insulin at lunch?”

Me – “Why do you have to be such a buttface all the time? Mistakes happen.”

I – “Whatevs. I need sugar, please.”

 

3:00 pm – Thinking about my decision to consciously remember my daily thoughts so I can blog them. Riveting stuff! Or not…. Haha.

 

4:12 pm – Pump beeps at me.

Me – “What now?!?!?”

Pumpys – “Low Resevoir”

Me – “Already? Feels like I just changed you. Dang it. Can you wait til I get home?”

(I hate changing my pump site…I don’t know why…It only takes 5 min or so every 3-4 days, but I still  hate doing it.)

 

5:15 pm – Gather my pump supplies and go about the site change. No biggie til I go to insert it. This always takes some courage for me. I scrunch my face up, working up my nerves to click the button that shoots the needle with tiny tube in me. Press the button….“Son of a! That one hurt!”

I – “It didn’t hurt that bad, you’re being a drama queen.”

Me – “You are right. It may not have hurt too bad but it still stung more than usual…like a monster size bee with evil plans of world domination and it’s going to…”

I – “Yeah, well stop with the exaggeration and deal with it.”

Me – “Whatevs. I was just getting into my story, Party Pooper.”

 

6:00pm – eat supper and figure insulin intake.

 

8:44 pm – Stomach hurts. Is it my blood sugar or am I getting sick?

 

9:00 pm – check blood sugar. It’s fine. Not sure why I felt bad. An unsolved mystery. Call  Matlock. (<—–That was dumb, but I’m going to keep the writing anyway since I thought it)

 

12:44 am – After numerous YouTube videos I decide I should go to bed. Get in bed and sigh…soooo nice…can’t wait to sleep and sleep and sleeeeppppp. Turn to the side and “Ouch” Pump clip is on my hip. Adjust it to my front so it won’t disrupt my precious sleep. (During day pump is clipped to my side, during sleep I move it to my front.)

 

3:30 am – Wake up with a “not right” feeling. Pretty sure I’m low, but check my blood sugar to confirm. Yep.

I stumble like  a drunken sailor into the kitchen to dig around for some sort of sugar intake. End up choosing a spoonful of peanut butter for protein and a juice box for carbs. Carbs raise blood sugar quickly, protein stays in system longer to ensure I won’t go low again in the night.

 

3:45 am – Can’t fall back asleep. Work will come all too soon. I wish I could quit you,  Diabetes.

 

 

That’s about a typical day in my type 1 diabetic life. Sometimes it’s annoying, but for the most part my thoughts and the things I do involving diabetes are second nature to me. I had many more diabetes thoughts throughout the day, but because it is so second nature and a part of me it is difficult to pluck them out of my memory for this post. Just know…I am awesome. 🙂

Drinking = Ghost Babies

 

Today is one of those days where I find being T1D especially annnoooyyyingggg. I know I’ve previously said the pump allows one to eat as much or as little as one wants, but that is not precisely true. There is a fine line and you have to know what to adjust when and where… annndddd I don’t really know what I’m doing so I’m just writing this awesome post instead.

I have not been hungry the past

few days… especially today (maybe because I celebrated the New Year a little too much yesterday and it feels like ghost babies are riding my brain waves) I’m on my lunch hour and all I want to do is lay down for 30 min or 5 hours…  It’s tricky, for sure. I know I have to eat something so I don’t go low and I know I can’t just not give myself insulin cause I’ll go too high.

I guess I don’t really have any intellectual thoughts on the matter except  that these ghost babies are making it difficult for me to figure out what I need to do…eat, not eat, add a temp basil rate,  don’t add a temp rate, bolus, don’t bolus, do cartwheels, don’t do cartwheels…gives you a headache, right?

Maybe I should just not drink? There’s a thought!

A few months ago I went on a wine trip for a friend’s bachelorette where we drank wine all day then had the brilliant idea to switch to hard alcohol shots that night….needless to say we had some sick gals that night, myself included. It was a little frustrating and scary because I felt so horrible, and after being sick I knew I had to force something down me so I didn’t go low in the night, but who wants to eat anything after that!?!? I managed to force a cracker down and drink some regular soda, but it wasn’t easy. Sometimes it just sucks all around.

I’m sorry I made this a complaining post. As annoying as I find being T1D today, I’m still in a good mood. Trying to be in front of other people at least… I don’t want to be one of those people whose bad moods spread like a cancer and put others in bad moods. So, I’m good. Might try to do some weird thing when I get back to work to get a confused look  or a laugh out of someone…I’ll consider it my act of kindness today. Do they appreciate the things I do? Maybe…maybe not… Will it I do it anyway? Most definitely.