Two months ago I went to a check-up at my diabetes doctor, and I heard words I never wanted to hear.
“I found a lump on your thyroid.”
My whole life, well since I was diagnosed with the Type 1 diabetes (basically my whole life), my doctor had always felt my throat at every appointment. I never really thought about why he always did it. It became routine and in all my naivety I never bothered to learn more about complications that could develop from the diabetes…until two months ago. The lump she (I recently was switched from a he doctor to a she) found isn’t uncommon in diabetic patients. It’s an immune system thing and my Type 1 is an immune thing, blah blah blah. Actually, lumps on thyroids are pretty common in diabetics and non-diabetics. They will be more likely to show up in someone like me and that is why the endocrinologists are always digging around at my throat. The doctor didn’t seem too worried about it, she said I needed to go get an ultrasound and depending on that I may need a biopsy. Logically, I knew if the doctor wasn’t worried then I shouldn’t be that worried either. Easier said than done though. Naturally, I’m going to start contemplating my life and what am I going to do if it turns out cancerous. It was depressing. I became depressed. I was sick of things always popping up like this. I have to deal with the type 1 the rest of my life, did I really need to deal with this now too?
Naturally, I took to the internet when I got home and for the most part found that if I was going to have cancer this was the type to have. Seemed to be easily cured. Just remove the thyroid and go on a pill. Not too bad. The chance that it would even be cancer in the first place was slim to none.
Anyway, I got the ultrasound. Got a call the next day. They found a large lump on my left thyroid and a small one on the right. The left one was too large, I would need to go back and get a biopsy. Cue another freak out. I kept to myself for the most part, talked to a select few about it. Some blew it off, it was nothing, don’t worry. Again, easier said than done. The chance of cancer, easily fixed or not, is still a scary thing to face. After a week of insistent thinking I got the biopsy, and $2,000 later it is nothing. A benign nodule. I’ll need to get ultrasounds every once in while to make sure others aren’t popping up like acne on a teenager, all in all not too bad. All that depression and worry for nothing.
This whole thing made me think about who I wanted to be. About a year ago I was probably the most depressed bum in the universe. I hated my job, and I let that hate and negativity affect every aspect of my life. After a couple of months I decided to start choosing to have good days, and let the hate roll off of me like water on the back of a duck. Shocker, it worked. I started taking pleasures in the small things in life and chose to see the good and not always the bad. The lump situation sort of derailed me, but I’m back on the track and plugging (or should I say “chugging” )away. I try to do a random act of kindness a day, and I try to put myself in the other persons shoes when they start to annoy me…mainly Wal-Mart shoppers, and all retail cashiers. We are all people trying to get by, and I would hate for anything I do to put a damper on someone else’s day.
I’m done now. Not a funny post this time around. I’ll see what sort of shenanigans I can rustle up for next time. In the meantime, I challenge all of you to do a random act of kindness. You’ll like it. I swear. Peace out!